“I CAN’T GET OVER MY EX” – HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER A BREAKUP
Moving on after a breakup can be challenging even though you didn’t initiate it.
It is painful and heartbreaking to part ways with someone you thought you would spend forever.
People find themselves stuck on their ex; it hinders them from getting into relationships in the future.
Even if they do, they don’t love this new partner wholeheartedly because part of their heart still belongs to the ex.
The healing process is not linear – people cope with hurt after a breakup differently; however, here are five practical steps to help you heal.
1. Don’t Communicate With Them
The first step after a breakup is to cut off all direct or indirect communication with your ex.
It is easier said than done, but you don’t want to be in touch with someone you are trying to get over, at least for the first period after the breakup.
It is necessary to protect your emotional and mental health, and it works most of the time, as out of sight may mean out of mind.
Also, refrain from stalking their social media pages; no matter how tempting this may be, it is always a bad idea. You don’t need to know their activities or a new partner.
Focus on getting over them without feeding yourself with news about them; it would only bring back memories of the past and fantasies of the future.
You do not necessarily have to block or delete their contact but if this will help you stay disciplined, by all means, go ahead.
You should take actionable steps to protect your emotional and mental health, as they matter in the long run.
2. Get support from friends and family; you shouldn’t isolate yourself. Don’t!
After a breakup, you may feel dejected and so sad that you want to stay indoors, away from the world; you shouldn’t!
It may be difficult to smile and laugh with other people again because of this heartbreak, but it is safe to lean on your friends and family for support.
Hang out more with your friends and family in an attempt to fill the void created by your partner.
There’s nothing wrong with staying around them all the time, as they will shower you with love and can even remind you why that person wasn’t good for you.
Resist the urge to lock yourself up in your house- and replace the void they created by spending time with loved ones.
3. Forgive
Sometimes, when you break up with a partner, there is a feeling of regret, and you start blaming them or yourself for whatever went wrong.
To heal and move on, you need to forgive yourself and your ex for whatever mistakes you made.
Don’t beat yourself up over past occurrences but focus on what is to come; no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes.
Decide that you want to forgive yourself and your ex; you don’t need to reach out to them to let go.
It is a necessary step to get over your ex because pent-up resentment will only make you think about them all the time.
4. Seek Genuine Happiness
You would think your world is crashing and may feel dejected; this is the time to find reasons to be happy again.
It may sound cliche, but it works most of the time; date yourself!
Go out if you can and do nice things for yourself; treat yourself to a special dinner, time at the spa, or even to the movies.
You can also stay indoors, see a movie, cook a nice meal, dance, dress up, take pictures, play games, or do other things you consider fun.
When you are getting over an ex is also a time to pick up new habits like reading or learning a new skill; develop yourself during this time as this would make you feel proud later.
Don’t wallow in self-pity; get busy and distract yourself.
Above all, love yourself.
5. Be Patient with Yourself; Trust the Process
Most people expect to get over their ex within a few days- if that is the case for you, good.
More often than not, it will take months or even years to get over an ex.
While you shouldn’t wallow in self-pity and be willing to move on, trust the process!
Don’t be too hard on yourself; wait out the process while getting busy with other things.
Cope with this breakup in a way that is safe for your mental health; do not make drastic decisions in the heat of the moment.
If you want to clear out memories and things that remind you of them, do it when you feel ready.
Most importantly, don’t rebound because it is never a good idea.
It just makes you carry old baggage into a new space which is; bad for you or your supposed new partner.
6. Seek Help
If you’re finding it difficult to get over a breakup, it is not a bad idea to seek professional help. You can talk to a therapist that would help you get over this.
A substitute for professional therapy may be help from religious leaders, in case you cannot afford it.
In conclusion, you must get over your ex so that you can live lightly and love again whenever you feel ready. When you feel like you are over an ex, date again; don’t block yourself out.
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