Communication is typically the bedrock of relationships. This is true because how else do couples want to meet the expectations of their significant others without knowing in the first place what these expectations are, and how else would they know these expectations if they are not communicated?
In a conversation with people who are currently in relationships, it was discovered that the need of most relationships is communication. While most people are active in relationships, going on dates and meeting the friends of their partners, there is usually still a communication gap.
If your partner doesn’t know your true feelings, needs, and expectations, or is not in sync with your life’s progress and growth, you can’t exactly say that you are communicating and vice versa.
Good communication in relationships is consistent, real, and seen as a safe space for both individuals to share who they are with the other person.
Today, I’ll be sharing 5 tips for improving communication in a relationship. I hope this makes a difference in your current relationship or the future one.
Be a listener
As ironic as this sounds, it is one of the biggest tricks to effective communication in any relationship. Most people find it easier to talk about how they feel and communicate what they want without giving the same energy or attention to the other person. One thing that characterizes good communication is that both parties are actively listening to each other and are willing to give their ears to everything the person is communicating through words and emotions. You can solve 50 percent of your communication issues by being an excellent listener.
A simple tip on this is to learn to slow down. You don’t have to be the one talking all the time. You should be able to switch roles because that’s how you’ll get results. You’ll get to know what the other person expects and then be able to work at giving it to them and only then can you expect to have yours met by them
Pay attention to the non-verbals
Like the first tip, listening to non-verbal communication is as important as paying attention to what the person is saying. A lot of times, people communicate with their body language, gestures, and generally their demeanor while you are speaking to them.
For example, if someone’s arms are crossed while you’re speaking to them, it could mean that they are guarding something, or that they are not so comfortable with sharing certain things. If you keep speaking to them in that position and you expect an excellent response, you may just be in for a long ride!
Reading the room and paying attention to the non-verbal ways of expression that your partner uses can give you more results than you expected.
Honesty Saves the Day
One good ingredient you would need when cooking effective communication in a relationship is honesty. There is a lot of power in being genuine with yourself and your partner when communicating your feelings or expectations. For example, when couples are trying to settle a rift, they sometimes only talk about the triggers and the surface causes. They mostly don’t talk about how they felt about that matter and the background of that feeling. Being genuine in your communication is one of the ways to sustain that communication and eventually the relationship. A lot of relationships lack the true essence of honesty and that’s why they are failing. Do you want your communication with your partner to be effective? be honest with yourself and with them!
One of the myths in relationships is that there is already enough communication because the parties constantly text and call each other. While this is a level of communication, it doesn’t cover the depth of communication required to keep the relationship going. Communication is an intentional process. You have to agree with your partner on when to talk and the end goal of that communication.
You can’t use your busy schedule as an excuse for neglecting the communication needs of your relationship because the time will never come until you create it. You must be intentional about when, where, how, and what to communicate. You can prepare questions beforehand or note prompts so that you don’t miss out on the main point of why you are taking out time to talk or communicate. You can also give thoughtful gifts to your partner to communicate how you feel. This makes so much difference!
Avoid “Yous” and use more “Is”
Remember that the goal of communication is not to “win” or blame the other person, in the case of having something specific to talk about. One of the ways to keep your conversations comfortable is to use the “I” statement more often than the “you”.
For example, instead of saying “You should not do that “, saying ” I feel that when you do that, …. happens and I would be grateful if you can do… Instead”. The difference between the two approaches is that one attacks the other person and unconsciously places blame while the other one is more considerate, empathetic, and gentle.
These 5 simple tips would get you started on the path to effectively communicating in relationships.