Stop Giving Allowances: Why You Should Pay Your Kids ‘Commissions’ Instead
Mama Tola sat in her shop in the bustling heart of Tejuosho Market, Yaba. The afternoon heat was relentless, the sound of generators provided a constant hum, and she had spent the last four hours haggling with suppliers to save a few hundred Naira on her stock. Her back ached, but she was driven by a single goal: making sure her children had a life easier than the one she had lived.
That evening, her son, Tolu, walked into the living room while she was kicking off her shoes. “Mummy, I need 10,000 Naira for the new football boots my friends are wearing,” he said casually, barely looking up from his phone.
Mama Tola reached into her bag and handed him the money. She felt a sense of pride that she could provide for him. But as Tolu walked away without a second thought, a cold realization hit her: Tolu didn’t see the sweat, the Lagos traffic, or the grueling negotiations behind that 10,000 Naira. To him, money was just a “subscription” that Daddy and Mummy renewed every time he asked.
By trying to give him everything she didn’t have, she realized she was forgetting to give him the one thing that made her successful: an understanding of how money is actually made.
The Problem with the “Allowance” Culture
In many working-class homes, we see an “allowance” as a birthright. We give our children money weekly or monthly simply because they are our children. While this comes from a place of deep love, it creates a dangerous disconnect.
An allowance is entitlement. It teaches a child that income is a fixed, guaranteed event that happens regardless of their input. In the real world—the world of startups, corporate ladders, and market trade—nobody gets paid for just “being there.” We get paid for value created. If we want to raise children who can survive the 2026 economy, we have to shift from a system of “Entitlement” (Allowance) to a system of “Work and Reward” (Commission).
What is the “Commission” System?
The concept is simple: In your house, your child is an “employee” of the family business. They have basic duties they must do because they are part of the family, and they have “extra” tasks they can do to earn money.
1. “Citizen” Chores (The Unpaid Work)
These are the things a child does because they live in the house. You don’t get paid to be a decent human being.
- Making their own bed.
- Clearing their plate after dinner.
- Keeping their room tidy.
- Doing their homework.
2. “Commission” Chores (The Paid Work)
These are tasks that actually provide a service to the household—things you might otherwise pay someone else to do, or things that take a load off your shoulders.
- Washing the cars engine and interior.
- Deep cleaning the fridge or the pantry.
- Gardening.
- Fixing the generator
- Helping to organise the week’s grocery list and comparing prices in the market.
Why This Shift Changes Everything
It Links Effort to Income
When Tolu has to wash the car four times to afford those football boots, those boots suddenly become very precious. He will clean them, store them properly, and value them. Why? Because he knows exactly how much sweat they cost.
It Teaches Negotiation and Planning
In a commission-based home, a child learns to look for opportunities. They might ask, “Mummy, if I help you sort these accounts for your shop, will you pay me a commission?” They are learning the “hustle”—the ability to spot a problem and offer a solution for a fee.
It Prepares Them for Financial Failure (Safely)
If your child chooses not to work one week, they have no money for the cinema on the weekend. This is a vital lesson. It is much better for them to learn the pain of an empty wallet at age 12 than to learn it at age 30 when they have a mortgage and a family to feed.
Implementing the “Save, Spend, Share” Rule
Once the commission is paid, the lesson isn’t over. You must teach them that money has three directions. Every time they earn, they should divide it into three jars:
- The Spend Jar: This is for immediate gratification—biscuits, data, or small toys.
- The Save Jar: This is for “Big Goals.” If they want a bicycle or a new phone, the money stays here until the goal is reached. This teaches delayed gratification, a trait common in almost all successful people.
- The Share Jar: This is for giving back—to church, a local charity, or helping a neighbor in need. This ensures they don’t grow up to be “money-hungry” but rather “money-wise” and empathetic.
Conclusion: Raising Producers, Not Just Consumers
As parents in a city as competitive as Lagos, we often feel the pressure to shield our children from the “stress” of life. But by shielding them from the reality of money, we are leaving them defenseless.
Paying commissions isn’t about being stingy; it’s about being a mentor. It’s about ensuring that when your children eventually step out of your house and into the real world, they don’t just know how to spend money—they know how to earn it, grow it, and respect it.
Mama Tola realized that the greatest gift she could give Tolu wasn’t a 10,000 Naira note; it was the realization that he had the power to earn it himself.
