Two Dangerous Sayings That Limit You
When Nnamdi was a young graduate, fresh out of university, he had a chance to buy a piece of land in a fast-growing area outside Lagos. His uncle, a successful businessman, leaned in and said, “Nnamdi, my son, you must take this loan immediately! Opportunity comes but once. If you miss this, you’ll never see a deal this good again.” Fear gripped Nnamdi. He rushed, didn’t do the proper due diligence, and bought the land without knowing its ownership history was messy. He later lost the investment when a legal dispute tied up the property.
Heartbroken and scarred, Nnamdi resolved to be cautious. His father, seeing his pain, offered another proverb: “My boy, don’t worry. This is life. Experience is the best teacher. You have been burned, but you will never make that mistake again.”
These two pieces of advice, though well-meaning and steeped in tradition, are dangerous. They taught Nnamdi to either panic or to suffer needlessly. In our fast-paced, modern world, these proverbs are less like helpful maps and more like limiting beliefs—rigid rules that hold us back from our true potential.
It is time to retire these sayings and adopt a mindset that is strategic, abundant, and smart.
The Danger of “Opportunity Comes But Once”
This proverb, often used to spur ambition, is built on a toxic scarcity mindset. It implies that success is a lottery ticket—a rare, singular event you must seize instantly or be left behind forever.
Why This Cliché Is Harmful
The underlying message is one of desperation, which leads to poor decision-making:
- It Forces Rash Decisions: When you believe this, you are terrified of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). You’re compelled to accept a bad business deal, rush into a questionable partnership, or invest without proper research (like Nnamdi did). You are motivated by fear of loss rather than careful assessment of gain.
- It Causes Unnecessary Stress: The pressure to be constantly vigilant for that “one chance” is mentally exhausting. It prevents you from focusing on the diligent, steady work that actually creates consistent success.
- It Blinds You to Abundance: The reality of the modern economy is that opportunities are infinite. They do not disappear; they simply change form. A failed land deal may lead to an opportunity in logistics. A missed job promotion opens the door to starting your own consultancy. When you cling to the “once-only” belief, you become fixated on the past and blind to the countless new avenues opening up around you every single day.
The Modern Reality: Opportunities Are Created
Success isn’t about perfectly timing a single event; it’s about consistent preparation. The successful person doesn’t wait for a grand, singular moment of luck. They continuously:
- Develop High-Value Skills: Their competence is their magnet.
- Build Strategic Networks: Their connections open doors, not just once, but repeatedly.
- Maintain Financial Readiness: They are always in a position to act when a sensible, thoroughly researched opportunity presents itself.
The Empowering Truth: “Opportunities are abundant and endless. Success favors the prepared mind, not the panicked hand.”
The Danger of “Experience is the Best Teacher”
This saying is perhaps the most romanticized, suggesting a false nobility in hardship. It wrongly implies that suffering is a prerequisite for wisdom and that you must accumulate personal scars to truly understand life.
Why This Cliché Is Limiting
The flaw here is that not all personal failures are recoverable, and many leave permanent damage—financially, emotionally, or physically.
- It Romanticizes Self-Inflicted Pain: Why should you suffer a major, avoidable financial loss when the lessons of a thousand bankruptcies are available in a single business book? Why experiment with a dangerous health trend when experts have already documented the risks?
- It Discourages Modeling and Mentorship: This proverb tells you to learn only from your own mistakes. This is the slowest, most painful, and most expensive form of education. It is an arrogant stance in a world where knowledge is instantly accessible.
- It Confuses Data with Wisdom: Personal experience is merely data—a single data point from a massive world of information. Wisdom is the ability to synthesize all available data (your own, your mentor’s, your competitor’s) to make a forward-looking decision.
The Modern Reality: Wisdom Is the Best Teacher
The truly intelligent person learns smarter, not harder. They are strategic about their education:
- They Learn from the Experience of Others: They study history, read biographies, take courses, and listen to podcasts to absorb the lessons paid for by someone else’s time and money. They acquire wisdom without having to acquire the wounds.
- They Prioritize Mentorship: A good mentor is not just a coach; they are a time machine. They take years of painful trial-and-error out of your journey by telling you exactly which potholes to avoid.
You are not required to be a casualty in the pursuit of knowledge. Your job is to maximize your learning while minimizing your personal damage.
The Empowering Truth: “Wisdom is the best teacher. Experience is merely the data point, and you can collect that data from others.”
Embrace Dynamic Thinking
These two dangerous sayings belong to a simpler, slower time. Success in today’s dynamic landscape demands that you question outdated advice and adopt a mindset built on abundance and strategic efficiency.
Reject the scarcity trap, embrace the power of learning from others, and focus your energy not on chasing single chances, but on becoming the kind of person who constantly creates and attracts opportunities.
Which of these two sayings have you personally had to fight to overcome in your career or life?
